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The current period represents a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” hit the mainstream. At the time, the idea that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a lover without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a mate has only become more confounding – an commonly pointless exercise in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by online jargon.

Generation Z, a demographic who matured during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a concerted attack on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their millennial predecessors could ever envision. And so their dating lexicon has grown longer and more unhinged, with terms like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” pushing the limits of your sanity.

Below is a detailed breakdown to the words Zoomers is using to discuss romance, sex and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the recent most viral online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – For gen Z, dating’s ideal is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

B

Bird theory – A TikTok trend loosely based on a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your partner’s reaction is inquisitive or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while oozing mystery and independence. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

C

Seat theory – This means choosing someone who aids you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people form a link while running errands, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped young adults do affordable romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Melting down when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a crush or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated feelings.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 80s young urban professional affluence, it describes pairs who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The opposite of being guarded: embracing dialogue, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Signals

• Warning signs – Behavioral quirks indicating a potential partner is bad news. For instance calling their exes crazy, subpar gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits affirm your decision to pursue a mate. For instance following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, having a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe specific, mostly inoffensive quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their wallet, paying rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who hates the same things or individuals that you do (few things fosters intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of ghosting.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and usually everyday repulsions that instantly extinguish any sense of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful act.

J

Professions – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {